So there I was, getting some tomatoes from Joe’s stall, having a bit of laugh with him, as you do, when he goes, oh look, what’s all that then, so I look, and there’s a big blue bus parked at the south end of the square, and that Cameron chap’s getting out, white shirt open at the neck, sleeves rolled up as if he’s been working, and he’s walking around smiling and shaking hands, and people are gathering round, but there’s these big serious-looking chaps with little wires coming out of their right ear, all wearing dark glasses, and they move along with Cameron, and you can see they don’t like anyone getting too close, they push people away, even old Mrs Goggins, who’s voted tory all her life, and I can see she’s not too happy about it. Then I hear Joe say, and look here, who’s this then, and I look at the other end of the square and there’s a big red bus stopping, and blow me if that Miliband chap isn’t getting out, only he’s got a suit on, tie, jacket and all, and he’s giving it smiles and handshakes all around, but he’s got the same big chaps at his side and behind him, they’re looking all around, for people throwing eggs probably, on account this is market day and they’re in plentiful supply. Then Joe says, blimey, there’s another one, look, and a big shiny yellow bus has pulled up at the side of the square, and that Nick Clegg fella’s getting out, he’s got an open shirt, jacket but no tie, and only got one minder with him, who looks a bit bored, seeing as nobody much is coming to see old Nick, almost feel sorry for him, but then Joe says oh lor, that’s the tin lid on it, cos another bus has pulled in opposite the yellow bus, this one’s purple and it’s got no roof, and that Nigel Farage is standing up on the top, wearing an old pin-striped suit like my dad used to wear in the war, waving and giving his goofy grin, fag in one hand, pint in the other, he doesn’t seem to have any minders, just a raggle-taggle bunch of all shapes and sizes, waving out of the downstairs windows. Nigel doesn’t seem to mind though, seems to think it’s all very amusing. So I turn to Joe and I say, how the devil am I supposed to get my shopping done now the circus is in town?
He thought that was pretty funny, did Joe.
scrievin 